A salty Brit's take on E3

by Brendan Rose

With E3 wrapping up, I thought I'd talk about some of the new games I think looked cool, as well as the games I think seem crap or that I'm indifferent towards as well as the new motion controls for the PS3 and Xbox.

Okay first up, Mass Effect 2, now I think this looks really cool. You can bring your old character over to the new game, and if you die you don't get to bring them over into the third game. It's supposed to be darker than the first Mass Effect, which is cool because it was kind of lame. I just sat around waiting the entire game for the lesbian sex scene with the blue alien girl, but it was a lot of fun, and I really liked the psychic powers. They've revamped the graphics and the combat, and you can now wound and cripple the enemy. It looks cool

Alright next we've got Bioshock 2, it seems really neat from the footage I've seen. Everybody knows this time around you get to play as a big daddy, with the proper drill. Slower this time, more lumbering, more powerful, and they've got the big sisters there to set up some good dynamics. It looks ok.

Heavy Rain, seems really cool. It's got the branching plot lines. If you die as one character you just switch to one of the others and the plot adjusts, and it just looks like it's got a lot of potential. I'm not a fan of those stupid quick-time events where you have to press a certain button fast enough to keep the scene going. I hate that. But it seems interesting enough for that not to matter.

Dead Rising 2 is going to be awesome. God of War III seems pretty good from the footage I saw. Everyone's pretty hyped about that game. I never played the God of War games, but I'll definitely try it out. Then there's Final Fantasy XIII and now XIV which will be online. Not much to say about that. I like the look of the new game, and VS sounds awesome.

Flashpoint 2 seems to be rolling along well and looks cool, if they ever release it. Left 4 Dead 2, looks exactly like the first game, which isn't exactly bad, I'll buy it, and some new maps would be fun. Then there's Halo ODST, I'd like to play another Halo. Looks ok.

Assassin's creed 2 seems neat with some new features, better assassinations. It looks like it could be fun. Brutal Legend seems kind of funny. Jack Black... Probably a stupid game, but I'll buy it just to have a look. New AVP, could be fun, if they get it right. Batman Archam Asylum is something I will take a look at later along with Crackdown 2.

Now moving onto the intermediate games there's MAG which seems interesting with 250 or so players. Dark Void just keeps floating around. Some Knights of the old republic game, others liked the earlier one. And then Lost Planet 2 which has fancy graphics and lots of neat action and open areas and big scary monsters to fight but I just look at it and I feel nothing. I feel dead inside.

Then the games that just look like festering shit. First, Uncharted 2. My god, can someone please kill the hype surrounding this miserable looking tomb raider thing. It looks so boring and stupid it makes me want to barf on a child. Modern Warfare 2, I have no interest in...none. I understand people love the first Modern Warfare, but I've never understood it. So, go ahead and let the flaming begin.

The Beatles Rockband will probably sell a lot of copies, but not to me. No way in Hell. And then there's some fucking Metal Gear thing going on... Some stupid shit... Looks like Metal Gear on Xbox. I really don't care

Then finally, these new motion controls, which I hope will strangle the last gulps of life out of the Wii like a boa constrictor on a stray duckling. First the PS3 has a motion controller set for 2010 release that looks at least as good as the Wii motion plus. And then the Xbox has this.... Magic thing....Project Natal. They just showed a weird trailer. If it lives up to the trailer it could be cool. No controller required. It scans your body with two cameras and tracks your movements in 3D, and it responds to voice commands. Could be cool if it works I guess. So the Wii has no power and no games at all, and whatever the Wii control once offered, is now available on a better system with real graphics, If they get it right.

So anyway that's what I thought of E3. Kind of cool. Like a nerd mecca.